If anyone has a way to make the chart more easily readable in any way, please do so.
It seems to be all.. Text going downwards, especially after having to edit the width.
Squirrel is different from any other Squirrel that happens to be wandering around the little dirt ball we all know as Azeroth. The Squirrel we all see to be wandering around, not on a fixed NPC path, just so happens to be your chance to make a friend, a chance to do nothing, or a chance to brutally, mercilessly, and violently rip up and mutilate/mangle an unsuspecting creation of nature. Whichever you choose, Squirrel will still die! So choose wisely!
How Squirrel began its unimportant' 'existence.[]
One day, a Mrs. Squirrel, and a Mr. Squirrel, attracted to each other by strange Azerothian Ground Squirrel mating rituals and weird smells, got it on, and the Mr. Squirrel knocked up Mrs. Squirrel. When the time came, Mrs. Squirrel gave birth to a litter of Squirrel Juniors, which then grew into the pest you now see scampering around your RP server.
== Death, a normal part of Squirrels everyday life. Heartless fiends.==
Everyone can be creative. Sometimes, people just need a bit of motivation, such as a reward. Such a reward could be seeing Squirrel guts flying all over the place, landing in peoples faces, feces everywhere. Or, you could consider the reward part to be the fact that you can do it with your bare hands!
Whether its boredom, anger, lulziness, or some other messed up emotion no ones heard of yet, Squirrel can be your stress ball if you do so wish.
How many times has Squirrel died?
Hmm, lets count!
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How did Squirrel die? |
Gore Rating.
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Dominic |
Noctura |
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8 |
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Velanis |
The Wailing Ziggurat |
Revenge |
Several. |
After jumping out of a cannon towards Velanis' face, Squirrel fled, leaving a nasty scratch for Velanis. This Mage took it upon himself to get revenge, by burning the Squirrel inside out, causing it to explode, leaving a small crater just outside Deaths Stand. |
7 |
Fale's Necro |
Noctura |
Wanted a minion. |
Remained in one piece. |
Squirrel jumped from fence towards Necro, Necro snapped Squirrels neck, then raised it as an undead critter of doom. |
1 |
Salandria |
Noctura |
None |
Remained in one piece. |
Squirrel gained entrance to the building that Salandria was in through a lit fireplace, seeking revenge. After fleeing in a burning panic, Squirrel later returned, looking like an ugly naked mole-rat, only to get whacked in the face by a sleeping child, and sneezed on in the face, which resulted in temporary blindness. In the following panic, Squirrel ran into the fireplace seeking escape, but was unable, and died a burning, crispy death. |
5 |
Celine | The Wailing Ziggurat | Spontaneous urge to murder something small and furry. | Two. | For no apparent reason, Celine unholstered her pistol, and headshotted Squirrel, causing the head to go "poof". She then took the now decapitated body, and swung it around, blood spraying from its neck. | 6 |
Garrow | Wintergarde | Thinking Squirrel murdered someone? | Two, not including the organs that came out. |
Deven lay bleeding in the Keep, his blood pooling besides him. Squirrel, being a fucked up little critter, proceeded to feed on the wound and roll around in the pool of blood, before being batted away. Shortly after, Garrow spotted the blood soaked critter. After grabbing the Squirrel, and receiving a blast of blood from Squirrel sneezing, Garrow twisted the Squirrels head several times, until it was no longer attached to Squirrels body, like a screw. He then bodyslammed the corpse, causing the insides to blast outwards through the neck, which Garrow would shortly slip on afterwards.
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4 |
Grin | Dalaran | Wanted a Forever Friend | Many, many pieces. But he put it back together. | Not remembering the process, but the end result was.. Both eyes ripped out, after having seeds shot into both sockets, one put back in backwards, the string going all dangly, and the other attached to its ass. Its tail was removed, enlarged, and re-attached, upside down. Its organs were removed, and rearranged, and its intestines used as a leash. Its arms and legs were removed, and re-attached, in a rather odd configuration. Its ribs were yanked out through its now empty chest-cavity, broken, fixed, and put back in the wrong order. All this, after being raised from the dead, and will forever be Grins Forever Friend of love. | 10 |
Malorna | Wintergarde | Self... Defense? | Five | After grabbing the Squirrel via telekinesis, which was leaping towards her, she whapped Squirrel into a large, wooden door, and into the ground. She then proceeded to lift Squirrel into the air, and rotate Squirrels head 360 degrees, removing it with a good yank, and lobbing the head away. She then whipped the body towards the door again, recreating a scene you might see on your street on a hot summer day, without the people running through the sprinkler, and the sprinkler being the corpse, and the water being.. Blood. After this, she took the body, and squeezed it, the organs popping out through the neck like a tube of toothpaste, which she used to paint on the door R.I.P. Squirrel, and some other things, that you might see when a 3 year old gets a hold of some crayons and has access to a pretty wall, and mashed the corpse against the side, oozing like a bloody sponge Then she ripped off its arms and legs, and kicked a lung at a giest. Oh, and then, to make things worse, she turned it inside out, the corpse, out through the neck, in through the... Anus, causing the tail to be inside the body, and the remaining organs to either fall out or dangle from the meaty wad of Squirrel. The end. | 10 |
Prometheus | Wintergarde | Being an Asshole to nature's lovable little creatures. | Remained in one piece. | Prometheus stepped on Squirrel, deathgripped Squirrel, rubbed Squirrels crippled body all over his saronite helmet, and then whipped Squirrel on the ground, and pounded it into a pancake with one mighty jump. | 3 |
Louis, Garrow and Bradley | ..at Venture Bay.. | ..craved some overkill. |
Squirrels pieces could not be counted. |
Squirrel got thrown into the air, stomped on until it was mush, beheaded by some bird, stomped on again, smashed multiple times by a hammer and axe (Two handed ones), collected into a pile of mush, then put into a Captains bed.
But when I find out who you were, I'll haunt you. Forever. Thanks Pepper. <3 |
No rating for you Overkill.
>:( |
Garrow | Venture Bay | Self Defense/Hatred | 2 | After a long, bloody battle, Garrow swung his sword like a bat when Squirrel lunged at him, splitting Squirrel in two, and sending it flying. | 7 |
Garrow's Slaveboy. | Venture Bay | Garrows orders. |
Remained in one piece. |
Garrows Slaveboy stabbed Squirrel, then stuck the corpse into the gears of a steam tank, crunching the remains.
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4 |
Top Kill[]
Currently Grins. Completely tearing a Squirrel apart, then putting it back together in the form of some disfigured rodent from hell? This Squirrel can tear faces off!
``Not remembering the process, but the end result was.. Both eyes ripped out, after having seeds shot into both sockets, one put back in backwards, the string going all dangly, and the other attached to its ass. Its tail was removed, enlarged, and re-attached, upside down. Its organs were removed, and rearranged, and its intestines used as a leash. Its arms and legs were removed, and re-attached, in a rather odd configuration. Its ribs were yanked out through its now empty chest-cavity, broken, fixed, and put back in the wrong order. All this, after being raised from the dead, and will forever be Grins Forever Friend of love.``
Notable Moments[]
1) In Dalaran, Squirrel once removed a chunk of Log'toirs penis. Sux2bhim.
2) In Grizzly Hills, Squirrel managed to acquire one of Romeos testicles. It still has it.
3) Squirrel is Grin's forever friend. Anyone want to hug a bloated, falling apart rotting Squirrel, brought back from the dead? It doesn't bite much!
4) Squirrel has been killed by a 10 year old Blood Elf.
5) Squirrel is better than you.
More to be added as they come. Feel free to add your own moments with Squirrel!